In college, I remember one of my professors asking each person in the classroom what they wanted to accomplish at the end of their academic career.
LETTING GO OF OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS FREE
You will be free the moment you stop worrying about what other people think of you. I realized that in order to change how I felt, I needed to perceive the world through a different lens. There was a turning point when I was fed up with avoiding conflict and tired of feeling hurt. People-pleasing gives everyone else your power. My self-doubt and fear of confrontation not only affected how I represented myself in social settings, it also caused a lot of unnecessary worry and tension in my relationships. Was I funny enough? Did I seem unintelligent? Did I unknowingly offend someone? These kinds of questions would creep into my mind and take over my mood on a daily basis. More times than I can count, I felt self-conscious and anxious while approaching certain people and situations in life. I am a reformed people–pleaser, and as a result, I haven’t always expressed my honest feelings to others.
I know, I’ve been there before myself, mostly when I wished I’d told people how I really felt in certain encounters, or when I doubted what I said or did and then replayed past events over again in my mind. After the fact, no matter how hard we try to let go of feelings of hurt or resentment, we might find it hard to move on. We all encounter times in life when someone says or does something that offends us. Change your thoughts and you change the world.
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